Dear Angie,
My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for about a year and have been living together for the last four months.
I have no doubt that he is the one for me, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I believe he feels the same way. We haven’t discussed it, but I am hoping he’ll propose on Valentine’s Day.
What should I do if he doesn’t? How long should I wait? If he doesn’t want to marry me, then I can’t continue this relationship, because I want to start a family.
Signed, Soon-to-be Mrs.?
Dear Spaz,
Relax already. Sheesh.
I have shoes older than your relationship. Hell, I might have a box of baking soda that has been in my cupboard longer than you two have been dating.
I can’t give you a deadline for when you should give up on a future with this man. Only you will know what’s right for you. However, it can’t hurt to address these issues with your boyfriend. Let him know what you want in life, and see what he wants in his life. Don’t be demanding and, for God’s sake, don’t give him any ultimatums. That won’t get you anywhere.
There are two problems with your hope that he’ll pop the question on Valentine’s Day.
First, you are setting yourself up for a huge letdown. Maybe marriage isn’t on his agenda just yet. I don’t know how old you two are, or what’s going on with your careers or educations, but perhaps he is a little more conservative in planning the rest of his life.
And, I hate to tell you this, but … well, maybe he doesn’t feel the same way about you. I said maybe, so don’t go off the deep end. But, it’s possible.
Second, you want to get engaged on Valentine’s Day?
Come on!
Could that be any more trite? Scratch that idea.
You want flowers and a nice – and I mean nice – piece of jewelry for Valentine’s Day. If and when he proposes, don’t let him use a holiday for the occasion. It’s been done to death.
Don’t let him cheat you out of a gift, either.
