Married Men are a Challenge...to live with

Dear Angie,

I work with a woman who is constantly flirting with guys in the office. The problem is, all the attractive guys are married or have girlfriends. But that doesn't stop her. It's annoying, watching her traipse from office to office, making a spectacle of herself.

What should I do?

Signed, Fed-up Frannie


Dear Fran,

Your co-worker is annoying. Unfortunately, there are women in the world who get their kicks from married (or otherwise attached) men, and no amount of well-intentioned advice will get her to change her ways.

Women who chase after married men think they're a challenge. They get a thrill (and a boost to their own ego) when a man who has committed himself to another woman violates his vows for her sake.

I could never understand that. After all, what is so challenging about getting the attention of a man who spends his nights lying next to a woman in flannel pajamas with rollers in her hair?

Nothing, that's what.

Love, Angie

Take the Trash OUT...not Home!

Dear Angie,

My boyfriend keeps bringing home stuff he finds in the trash. It’s not even stuff we need! We have about four end tables. Last week, he came home with a piano. We don’t know how to play anything other than chopsticks.

I think he has some type of compulsion. He refuses to pass anything up, and if we can’t use it, he jams it into the garage, which is overflowing with junk. How can I get him to stop?

Signed, Junkie Janie

Dear Janie,

I’d also say he has a compulsion.

Maybe you could suggest going into business. You could take the stuff you don’t need to a consignment shop, where you can get upwards of 60 percent of the selling price.

I assume he drives some type of truck. Perhaps you can convince him to trade it in for a Prius. They’re more fuel-efficient, good to the environment, and you can’t fit any furniture in there. Everyone wins!

Love, Angie

I Just Want to Dance!

Dear Angie,

After watching last night’s premiere of Dancing with the Stars, I’ve decided that I want to take ballroom dancing lessons with my husband. He said there was no chance he would ever take dancing lessons because it’s “gay.”

How can I get him to change his mind?

Signed, Dying to Doble

Dear Doble Desperado,

I’m with you, girlfriend, except I’ve felt this way since watching Jason Taylor and Cristian De La Fuente in Season 6.

Rawwwwwr.

Well, maybe if you can get him to watch the show with you, he’ll see how hot and bothered you get...and then he just might come around.

If nothing else, you two can mambo your way into the bedroom and get all hot and bothered between the sheets.

Good luck, Angie

She's a Wanderer...

Dear Angie,

When my husband and I have sex, I find myself fantasizing. I’m not fantasizing about an old boyfriend or anyone I know; it’s just an anonymous man who ravishes my body. I don’t know why I do it, because my husband is great in bed.

How do I stop?

Signed, Wandering Mind

Dear Wanderer,

I’m not sure why you do it either. In fact, it doesn’t make any sense.

My diagnosis: You’re a nympho.

Old-fashioned sex with a good lover isn’t enough for you, apparently. You have to step up the sexual energy by imagining that a man is ravishing your body.

I would recommend nipping this in the bud so that you can go back to actually enjoying your husband’s love-making skills. Of course, you could try to spice things up in the bedroom (or any room, for that matter) by encouraging your husband to ravish your body.

Love, Angie

Never a bride, never a bridesmaid

Dear Angie,

My boyfriend and I have to go to a wedding this weekend. We probably won't know many people there.

Should we just sit at our table and talk to each other? Should we just talk to the people we know? Or should we mingle and try to be friendly with everyone?

Signed, Weddings Suck


Dear Wedding Crusher,

Allow me to make two observations.

First, are you a little spiteful that you're not the one getting married? It sounds like you might be.

Second, do you have some type of social phobia disorder? I mean, really.

I recommend that you not obsess over it too much. Take things as they come.

Sure, talk to some folks you know. If the opportunity presents itself, feel free to have a conversation with someone you don't know.

Of course, if you strike out on both of those options, then you and your boyfriend can rehash the last dozen conversations you've had. Now that sounds like fun.

Love, Angie

Give me my Mainstream!

Dear Angie,

Whenever my friend watches an awards show (like The Oscars), she suddenly pretends to be very in tune with the entertainment world. She starts watching all the indie, art-house films and name-drops like she’s an insider.

I mean, have you ever heard of Auf Der Strecke? And who the hell cares about Danny Boyle and Dustin Lance Black? I mean, they’ve never even been nominated before, so why is she acting like they’re household names?

Signed, Oscar Angst

Dear Angster,

I have not heard of that movie. Wait, that’s a movie, right?

And, as for the others, well…Boyle also directed Trainspotting, if that matters to you.

Black, interestingly enough, is involved with Big Love, the HBO series. He is also a former Mormon, as I’ve just learned from Imdb.

It sounds like your friend can be annoying. I’m sorry for that.

You could try to avoid her for a week or two after any major awards show. Regardless, chin up. After all, movie award season is over.

Love, Angie

Dear Angie,

I have become obsessed with Craigslist. I can find everything there. And sometimes it’s even free!

Last week, I got three pounds of fresh scrapple from a woman who had a pig butchered and realized she didn’t like scrapple.

My boyfriend doesn’t like Craigslist and thinks I shouldn’t get stuff that I find there. What do you think?

Signed, Craig Groupie

Dear Groupie,

Your question raises a few issues.

For one thing, I share your boyfriend’s concerns but only as they pertain to safety. After all, it’s not exactly smart to traipse over to a stranger’s house simply because they’ve posted a free ad. Be safe and use your head.

Second, you seem quite gung-ho about Craigslist. For a second, I thought you worked for them.

Finally, I’ve never seen someone who likes Scrapple so much. It’s not the healthiest meat around, ya know. Be safe and use your head.

Love, Angie